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Myself and Another Me

Life, should be as perfect and harmony as a sphere which has the philosophical closeness and symmetry. Naturally, I keep this obsession into science, then I found I was wrong, on both.

The family condition of mine is not quite lovely, that is not very far from the “typical family problem” in many shows, and because of that I tend to absorb information more than expressing. Back to the time, the most frequently used body parts of mine to interact with the world are brain, eyes, and ears, the nose is not included because of my rhinitis. Sit at the back left of a car, I staring at the front seat to create extraordinary connections between leather patterns, hear all the things people around discussing, maybe shocking them by pointing out a better solution, then close my eyes go into my inside mind palace.

Me as such did not have the willingness to build interaction with others. People around talking always carried with emotions which hide their real original ideas, also words from my mouth maybe more compact but still lose its accuracy during transportation. Such encoding and decoding are low efficient, I am not a nerd, but people get tired when they know they need to do something not that useful every day. However, human being have an original impulse to communicate with people, I did not find other people as a friend but create another me instead. Since that, I got a step into a loop.

The way people to think is talk or ask the questions toward someone inside his mind, but that is more like to be talking to self, just using the language to help thinking. But I let the one who am I talking to become a real entity, he is no longer an intermediary but a real personality. I use “you” to call him, he could immediately understand my point sometimes even before I really say something. He is a good talker, also a great listener. I was amazed by such a high efficiency of communication. Not only “him” in current, but an infinite number of “him” in the past. One day I went out from my own apartment and found it was raining. When I was in the mood of manic, surprisingly I found there was an umbrella in my bag, what I did first? Saying to myself: “Thanks for your considerate, me in the past.” Every time I cannot control my emotion, he would bring me to think out of the box and do the best logical decision. They are both fathers and brothers, also, they are me. That’s really an extraordinary relationship.

That’s a boring black raining night, quite a silence, only the noise of my 3D printer. I was waiting for the time I set to go to the bed by browsing random stuff. Suddenly, There was something called “Parity violation” shocking to me. Basically, if we look at a spinning particle in a mirror, it should spin in a inverse direction, just like a person shaking his left hand, but in the mirror, it looks the right hand is moving. However, some particles in some condition, even are mirror reflected, still, spin in the same direction. That’s just like saying a mirrored particle has different properties. The Person in the mirror is not that person, but a different one.

I saw a slim bright light beam outside the window, then heard a powerful noise came over then“Let’s take a shower, shall we?” I said. “Yeah, why not?”He follows back.

The white noise produced by the water drops hitting the ground is perfect for helping people think deeply. “You always know what I gonna say, you are my best brother, my firmest umbrella”  “But, where are you?” Only the silence but the echo of my voice. “You! Locked me into a loop! Whatever I say, whatever you agree or not, your answer is what I want, my answer is what you want. We are one particle, but you in the mirror. The night still black, raining, and quite, but I am sure I was renewed with the water fog reflecting the shining golden bathroom heater light around.

The key to social communication is not the exchange of information, but makes everyone happy. I began to say something meaningless just let people around smile, I do need to show my ability but my classmates would spontaneously invite me to be the team leader. Sometimes, people come to me is not for finding a solution but just for spreading their emotion. It is human being. He is still around me, help to keep myself, think outside the emotional box, but we are just not in the loop anymore.

“Diversity is essential to happiness” It’s my new favorite motto. People always tried to set Romanesque symmetric definitions. Just like lock the sex to male and female, but now we realize there are LGBT or even more than 68 different sex, in the strict sense, the symmetry of male and female is broken. Or Do the physics really describe the world beautifully and accurately? The universe is running in its own way, maybe we called “ grateful formulas” are just try to approach the world this function. Thus, whatever life or science, people should get rid of the paranoid idea of beauty in form, but respect the fact of chaotic, diversity, and unknown.

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  • Guest 2019年8月5日, 下午8:58 DeemOcean header image

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them. However, without reason, emotion is blunt enough to be redundant. Happiness comes only when the two bind together, however ramshackle they may look.

  • c 2019年8月16日, 上午9:59 DeemOcean header image

    It’s okay to talk to whomever you like to, you know you have moi, a garbage bin who shared similar experience. Lost weight and couldn’t eat right now, my depression was so bad that I shouldn’t be alive.
    I do not know where I am, where am going. I am about to find that, and may me be with you when you are in despair. Guess who I am (^^)