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I Do Not Want To Give Up…

Today, I cried, yes, I really did, but no one see, oh, now you know…

I had bad days with my lovely depression,  I fight, I win, it f**ked me down, then I stand up,  I fight again, over, and over, and over again, I thought she was gone, however, no, not at all.

I am really sensitive with my study, or depress with that, cuz I cannot find anything, anything could let me feel happy, only study do, not because it could let me feel proud or something, because it let me feel I am beyond other stupids now, I hate interact with people, so…? So study is the only thing keeps me alive, yeah, it is the thing keeps me alive.

I think all the things I am learning about are pretty easy, just f**king easy, I cannot feel happiness from beyond others anymore, because I even do not seem them as people in a same level.

Today, I am in a great pain, I have three Honors, four APs in school, and add other APs I decide to learn, I will have 10 AP grade in the end, so what? I do not think APs are hard, to be honest, they even do not need brain, you could just put data to formula, and, yes, answers comes out. Haha… I DO NOT KNOW WHY!!! I just, I just cannot get a grade, I fully understand the deep meaning, but always! always! always! I always write some werid answers, I hate myself, I shouldn’t be like this, I shouldn’t.

Laugh at me, do whatever you want to do, cuz I know what comments will  normal people leave here.


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{ 3 comments… add one }
  • Jerry 2018年12月3日, 下午11:13 DeemOcean header image

    でも断る! I just put a heart at the bottom of the page representing understanding. 🙂
    the time dims. It really does.

  • Jackie Zhang 2018年12月6日, 下午5:24 DeemOcean header image


  • lanie tang 2018年12月25日, 下午7:59 DeemOcean header image

    I guess stepping down really is one of the numerous accesses toward hapiness. Anyway I’m just saying. Just ignore this comment if you don’t like it

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